Godly
The author intends for
us to know that she is a woman of good character. She is godly. The Hebrew word “chayil” which is translated
“excellent” in the ESV is also translated “virtuous” and Matthew Henry points
out in his commentary that the same word is used to describe “good judges”, men
who fear the LORD ,elsewhere in Scripture.6 Interesting to note is
that the author bookends the passage with the description of the godliness of
this woman. Verse 10 speaks of the excellent wife
and verses 30 and 31 praise the “woman who fears the LORD”. It is understood that 30 and 31 are referring
to the woman described in the above verses.
Verse 10 lays the foundation for the practical aspects seen in verses
11-27 and verses 30- 31 again reiterate the heart of the woman. First and
foremost this woman is a woman of God.
Trustworthy
“The heart of her
husband trusts in her (v.11). This woman
gives her husband no reason to
doubt her confidentiality or her fidelity. He has no
worries of his children and household falling into chaos (v. 27). He need not be concerned with her having loose
behavior or flapping lips (v. 26, 30).
It naturally follows that if her husband can trust her so can
others. She has many who depend on
her: husband, children, servants, and business
partners. No one under her care lacks
for anything.
Industrious
I wonder when the Proverbs 31 woman sleeps!
Verse after verse describes her industriousness. She rises early and goes to
bed late (v. 15, 18). She works with
wool and flax(v.13,19). The woman weaves
and sews for the benefit of her own family but also for the sake of business
the profit from which is a blessing (v. 21, 22, 24). Verse 17 describers her as
making her arms strong and dressing with strength. This carries with it the idea that she works
hard and is not afraid to get dirty. She
is not a Victorian era flower that knows no greater manual labor than painting
or needlepoint.
Generous
“She
opens her hand to the poor…” (v.20).The excellent wife does not neglect to
reach out to those who are less fortunate than she is. She helps meet the needs of those in her
community. She also is generous in her dealings with her servants. “She rises
while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her
maidens.”(v.15) Her servants do not
receive her left overs but are attended to along with her family. She is also
generous with her time and skills. The
Proverbs 31 has servants. She need not attend to manual labor yet she does. She
works alongside her help.
Insightful
Synonyms for insightful
include alert, discerning, and shrewd.7 The excellent wife is all of
those things. She is alert. “She laughs
at the time to come.”(v. 25). She
perceives that her household will have different needs in different season and
prepares for them. She looks ahead and plans well so that they lack for nothing.
She is discerning. Her mouth holds words as “apples of gold in
settings of silver” (Prov. 25:11). She speaks with wisdom and kindness (v.26).
This wise woman is also shrewd in her business dealings. She “considers” before
she buys. She is not hasty in her decisions but evaluates the best plan of
action for the greatest profit. Matthew
Henry notes “What her own ground does not produce she can furnish herself with,
if she have occasion for it, by exchanging her own goods for it; and so she
brings her food from afar.” 8
Humble
Last but not least the Proverbs 31 excellent wife is
cloaked in humility. She does not lay on charm or parade her beauty. Her eyes
are not haughty seeking out the accolades of men. Rather she serves with
humility attending to the needs of others.
Actions speak louder than words and her actions testify
to her selflessness. Her industrious
acts are primarily for the benefit of her husband and family. She does not think that she is above helping
the poor or working with her hands. She
does not praise herself yet she has no lack of commendation. Her works praise
her. Her husband and children do also (v.28-31).
How
do we apply what we have learned about the meaning and implications of the text
to the here and now of our modern lives?
Men should continue to heed the advice given in Proverbs 31 with regard
to finding a wife. Consider asking yourself these questions: Does the woman I am pursuing or thinking of
pursuing possess the qualities listed? Is she growing in them? The virtues of
the Proverbs 31 passage should be cultivated in the lives of women, whether
they are married and not. She could ask:
Am I trustworthy? In what ways do I fail to be trustworthy? Am
I industrious and with that, diligent?
Would people say that I speak with wisdom and kindness? These questions and more spring from the
passage. May we not forget that virtue
is not only for women but also for men.
A man who desires a godly wife must show himself godly as well. He too
may learn from the example of the Proverbs 31 woman.
One
of the things I have to work hard to remember is that virtues do not come over
night. They do not magically appear when one marries. They are cultivated. Before the excellent wife could sell her
goods they had to be of a sellable quality!
She had to develop her skills.
Just as her vocational skills were developed her virtuous muscles too
were exercised over the span of her life.
She was clothed in strength and dignity instead of charm and fleeting
beauty. It was a choice she made. Her mantle was a “gentle and quiet spirit” (1
Peter 3:3). Development of character
starts in the heart. The heart is
changed by the Word through the Holy Spirit’s work. Therefore, diligent study and meditation upon
the word are required.
What
the author intends to communicate to his reader is what to look for in a
wife. He effectively describes her in
22 verses. The excellent wife is more than an idealistic model or an
allegorical picture of wisdom. She is a woman of fine character who is godly,
trustworthy, industrious, generous, insightful, and humble. Her character serves as a pattern to inspire
men to search after that “good thing” and women to become the “woman who fears
the LORD”. Let us not neglect the example given in the word for we know that
these things that were written in times past were written for our learning.
(Romans 15:4)
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