Sunday, July 8, 2012

A Love/Hate Relationship

I have a love/hate relationship with my hormones. Sometimes I love them. Often we are at odds with each other.  They ruin my complexion. They make me retain water leaving random bulges in my midsection.  They make me super duper prone to extremes in emotion. Yes. Those are the times that I would like to throw them out and trample them underfoot.

I love them. I do. They make me like girlie things. They make me look like a girl. They allow me to even have emotions. The reason I love them the most is because of all the reasons I hate them. You see the times when I want to hate my hormones....it is then that I have to draw closer to Jesus.

This last round of hormone spikage. I just needed Jesus. I knew it. I knew it more than usual.

 It dawned on me that this curse from sin in the garden provided an opportunity for God to display His glory.

I get mean, frustrated, antsy, and angry far too quickly when my progesterone levels are up. Everything becomes a big deal. And I cry. I cry because I must possess my vessel. I cry because this is not who I want to be. This is not who I am in Christ!

 I must quickly run to my Jesus feet and say "I can't fix it. I don't understand. I need You."

It isn't long before my hormones level out. I'm not as mean. I'm not as impatient. I'm not as angry. Things are not all a big deal. And I am not always as quick to run to Jesus saying "I need You". Yet, I still need Him just as much.

So. I love my hormones. I love that God uses them to sanctify me. I am thankful. Oh so thankful for the recurring reminder that I need Him. That I am redeemed but yet full of sinful habits.  That He is patient, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love.


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