19 They spoke against God, saying,

“Can God spread a table in the wilderness?

20 He struck the rock so that water gushed out

and streams overflowed.

Can he also give bread

or provide meat for his people?”

Psalm 78 

I have come to the point where I can relatively easily trust God with my "book" grades. I can trust Him with my desire for a husband and family. I can trust Him for so many things it seems and yet I struggle to trust that He will bring me through clinic.  I believe He can give me water but I crave the knowledge that I'm going to have that food- passing clinic. Is it that I question His ability?

It seems almost like I can contribute to my "book" grades. If I do badly I can study harder, right?[btw, God gets me my book grades. No doubt about it.] I can't study harder for clinic.  It will fully be a work of the LORD. This fear flows out of an unbelieving heart which in Hebrews is described as evil[Hebrews 3:12]. "My God is able to provide for your every need according to the riches in Christ Jesus." Who am I to fear? It isn't even as if it were the end of the world! Not life and death!

I do not have a promise written out in Scripture that says "Thou shalt graduate from dental hygiene school!" but that doesn't matter. I do have the promise that my Father will never let me go. That His children are well take care of and a reminder that I should set my hope "fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Christ Jesus".

It is getting better. I can see my heart changing.  I am learning that this is one of those "ok Lord, I trust You with this today because You are...." 'things'. And you know what? He is so gonna take care of it!

Therefore, when the Lord heard, he was full of wrath;

a fire was kindled against Jacob;

his anger rose against Israel,

22 because they did not believe in God

and did not trust his saving power.

23 Yet he commanded the skies above

and opened the doors of heaven,

24 and he rained down on them manna to eat

and gave them the grain of heaven.

25 Man ate of the bread of the angels;

he sent them food in abundance.

Psalm 78

Edit: This was just a rambling. God used it to speak to my heart with what was going on in my head at the moment but I don't think that is a true exposition of the passage by any means. :)