If you ask the LORD to humble you, be prepared, He will.
Friday morning some of my sisters friends and a friend of mine wanted to go take portraits downtown. It is something that we periodically do just for fun. It gives them an excuse to dress up a little bit. As usual I was asked to be the photographer.
I would *LOVE* to be a good at photography. I've done some work for fun (looked back at it and cringed). I'm really not very good. I am not creative and I don't have much of an eye. Yet, I still love it. Lately, the quality of the pictures I've taken have degraded. Blurry. All of them. No matter what I do it seems.(I've even been using google to help me improve!)
We went downtown. The girls were beautiful. We chose neutrals- browns and tans- with jeans. There is a place that has beautiful ironwork that I've taken pictures in before. That was our first stop. Usually highnoon is not a good time to take pictures but within the courtyard it was perfect. There was a place that had a natural spotlight. We were delighted!
The pictures were beautiful on the camera. Crisp. Clear. Incredible color. We just 'oo'ed and 'ahh'ed. Even *I* liked them. As you can probably imagine, I was sorely disappointed when I found out ALL of the pictures I took were blurry. All of them. :(
Being disappointed isn't wrong. Not at all. Except when it runs deeper. I realized that my disappointment ran deeper than just being sad that we had no pictures for the time we wasted sweating in the heat. My pride was hurt. I was proud that I was asked because they had confidence in me. I was proud that they looked SO GOOD on the camera. I was proud that I seemed to have more of an artistic eye than usual. So my pride was hurt when it was my fault that we had nothing to show for it all. I felt the twinge that I wasn't as good as I had chosen to believe. Grrr... It stung. Way more than it should have- it stung.
No one likes being sick to their stomach and if they do they need just a leeetle help. If you are a Believer, you like it even less because often times you know that comes because you have some evil in your heart that needs to be taken care of. (Yes, I just ended that sentence with a preposition. I do it QUITE often without feeling any remorse.) Being as tired as I was this morning it took me close to 10minutes to figure out what I'd been told or had done to bring on the sick feeling but once Jesus showed me (of course I asked when I couldn't figure it out!) I spent some time wading through it all and getting it right.
Always, always, always, my times of repentance turn into praise. At the end of my dealing with sin, I am brought back to the cross. Do you realize how much of an answer to prayer this was for me?! He used this to chip away at my proud hard heart! I am an arrogant snobbish person full of pride and I'm fairly aware of it--- sometimes. The Father delights in humble hearts (Ps 149:4; Pro 3:34) so it is my prayer that He would bring me to humility. I know it will hurt. And I cringe every time I pray that prayer but it is so worth it. So I glory in answered prayers! I rejoice that He has seen fit by no will of my own to choose me to be His child.(John 1:12-13; Eph 2:1-10) Because I am His He will discipline me and bring me to Himself.(Pro 3:12;Hebrews 12:5-7) HALLELUJAH AMEN!
"LORD, make me humble so that I am pleasing to You"