Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty. Pretty much my favorite Disney princess movie ever. (Swan Princess is THEBEST but it isn’t Disney and Anastasia has great music not to mention that Demitri is cute but again-not Disney) So I asked myself why it should be the best and not say, Beauty and the Beast, which seems to be the winner among my circle of friends.

Negatives:

(Mmhmm, bad first then good. I eat the food on my plate from least to most favorite) Prince Philip comes home says ‘ Dad I’ve found my wife and she’s a peasant’ Dad says “ no son you must marry the princess’ Son says “ see ya’ as he rides off to meet the girl at the little cabin in the woods. Umm can you say disobedient? Yes, of course I empathize with the son but he shouldn’a done that. (houghy breath) And excuse me but what kind of a ditz is Aurora? Like seriously, she is bawling her eyes out because her beloved dream guy won’t find her at her woodland home (no I’m not downing her for tears), then there is this green glow that she for some reason must follow. That makes perfect sense? Does not the eerie greenness not give you a hint of “danger!”? Apparently not. Ok fine, you win. Curiosity got the best of her. But let us continue with the green light scene. Some strange unknown voice calls out to her “touch the spindle” (and btw why a spindle? Why a spinning wheel? What is the symbolism that I am not getting?). So what does the dear do? Reach out to “don’t touch it Rose” and she draws back “touch it!”. Dun dun dun…. She obeys! Hmmm who do you listen to in a dimly lit room with no creature to match the creepy voice? The creepy voice or the people who love you? The creepy voice obviously.

Lovelinesses:

(On to the bestest parts) Who first prince or princess? Princess.

Yes, that is best. Remember the steak is eaten after all the greenbeans and even mashed potatoes have been devoured. Aurora, or Rose, as she was also caused may be a bit blonde when it comes to strange lights but no one can deny her beauty. Golden hair and lips redder than a red red rose. No Clairol or Clinique needed either! As Anne Shirley would say, she had an “alabaster brow”. Face, hair and hello! Figure! Talk about a graceful woman. All she had to do was walk and it looked like she was dancing. Oh that I could float on air and not clop as a rhinoceros (yes I do understand that people usually use the elephant metaphor). Moving to her more inward qualities. The girl can sing! (sound dost come from the insides of a person) Umm I tried to sing with her and I just had to stop. Twernt so pretty like. Actually, it was quite unpleasant. Not only does she sing but think of all the woodland creatures that come to join her. I’m not an animal person but I’m pretty sure I’d like the ones who are with her. Besides, who would not want to be able to make friends with creatures like that?!? Way cool.

The prince! (Be sure to read that in your best sing-song Gizelle-like voice)

Ok ladies what could be better? We have 1. A prince. 2.a cute, no handsome, prince 3. A man who can sing. 4. One who dances. 5. He who is loyal (or stupid depending on your take on things) 6. And a dragon slayer who fights with weapons of virtue. *Sigh* I think I’m in love. You all know the story, they meet in the woods and he begins to sing with her. (To those of you who have heard me say ‘ I don’t want my man to sing to me’ this is different) Ahh the melodious song and the beautiful harmony. As the music plays, he sweeps her into a perfectly executed waltz. Lovely. His devotion drives him back to the little cabin in the woods where he is captured by the evil Maleficent but he shall not be held captive long! With the help of the 3 fairies, he escapes to rescue his Beloved. He rides off on his gallant steed (btw, that is another perk. He can ride.) to rescue the princess from her drowsy plight. On the way, he is hindered by the dragon Maleficent but not for long. The inexperienced lad fought valiantly defeating evil with the weapons of righteousness. Hero indeed. (muses: If only he could preach.)

Their story.

For some, this is the best part. They meet once upon a dream, of course. Most every young woman has a dream man. And I guess guys have their dream girls? Idk, but these two did and each matched the other’s picture! They already knew what they required in their future mate therefore when they met they were able to see right off that it was perfect. (I realize I am adding in back-round. Let me do it.) So they danced and fell in love. Everyone knows all that is needed to fall in love is a duet and dance. Dur! They were separated for a time but were again reunited after the prince fought bravely against the forces of evil. (FYI, he won because he fought with righteousness. MAJOR brownie points) The ditz had fallen asleep due to a finger prick but the prince was able to awaken her by a kiss. It only worked because it was true love and we know it was true love because it worked. (Circles. I think yes.) They married, the kingdoms were united, and they lived happily ever after. The end. (Btw, after he kissed her there was no going back. Everyone knows that after you kiss a girl you have to marry her. It says so in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.)

Interjection

We interrupt these ramblings to insert this notification. Although the movie has more high-points such as the animation and musical genius, the author will not deal with them for lack of space.(and she's not that much of an analyst) If you wish to find the other merits in this Disney classic feel free to do so. I shall not.

That concludes my collection of thoughts with regard to Sleeping Beauty. Lets recap. Bad son who disses dad and does what he wants. Idiot princess who doesn’t listen to her ‘parents’. ( May I say here that both parties had to pay for their foolishness. The prince was captured and the princess konked out.) The princess is the epitome of grace and the prince is gallant. They fall in love having met once before in a dream. Separation anxiety was drowned by adrenaline (prince) and sleep( princess) for a time, but then was obliterated by a glorious reuniting. And they lived happily ever after as all Prince and Princesses do.